Starting the process of international adoption was somewhat daunting. Where do you even begin? Well, Google, obviously. So I did this and found Holt International's website to be particularly helpful. Holt international is an adoption agency that has the license to practice in most (if not all) states. Rule number one is that the adoption agency has to be licensed in the state in which you reside. Holt is a huge agency and adopts from multiple countries. We are not adopting through Holt, but I used them and a few other large adoption agencies (as well as phone conversations with their adoption counselors) to learn about the different countries that participate with the US in international adoption as well as the rules and regulations particular to each country. As I researched the countries available through Holt I found one piece of startling information: it is so difficult to adopt an infant. Most countries do not adopt infants and may not start adoption until age 3 or even 5. Countries like the Ukraine, Peru, Romania, the Philippines...all these countries do not adopt infants. In fact, after talking on the phone with an adoption counselor at Holt I found that the only countries where infants (considered any child under the age of 2) are placed for adoption are Russia, Ethiopia, Korea, China, and Thailand. Here is what I learned on each:
Russia:
In Russia the children are kept in orphanages where conditions are not that great. They are not eligible for international adoption until they are 8 months old in order to give the local Russians time to adopt. At 8 months they can be placed into international adoption, but because of paperwork and traveling done by the adoptive family, the time from when they first meet their family at 8 months until the time when they go home to their new country is typically 4-6 months. This means that the adoptive family is bringing home a child AT YOUNGEST 1 year of age. Typically, only boys are available at 8 months, and girls become available a little older, closer to 10, 11, or 12 months. The total time for the process in Russia is about 9 months for an older boy (the shortest time) and about 14-16 months for a young girl (the longest time). You can select your gender.
Ethiopia:
Ethiopia is very similar to Russia. The children live in orphanages and are brought home a few months earlier than in Russia, so you may be bringing home a child who is 11 months old rather than over a year. The timeframe is about the same as Russia. The children are also kept in orphanages. I do believe it is also easier to get a boy here. You can select your gender.
China:
If you want to adopt a healthy infant girl China is the place for you. That is, if you have 5 years to wait. In China infant girls can be brought home I believe around 6-10 months old, but the current wait time in China is about 5 years (for a healthy infant). I believe 3 years if you are lucky. If you are open to children with special needs the wait it less and you will most likely get a boy.
Korea:
Korea is the most lucrative place to adopt a baby. Infants are given to their forever families around 6 months. Adoptive families do not have to travel to Korea if they do not wish, as the child is sent over on a plane with an escort to JFK airport where their new family meets them. The children in Korea are kept in foster homes, and the mothers in Korea that give up their children are kept in a home during their pregnancy and have supervised pregnancies. The moment babies are born, they are placed in individual homes with foster families. The children coming out of Korea are healthy and have virtually no emotional and physical developmental problems since they are cared for in utero and are placed in foster care immediately. The time frame to adopt from Korea is about 2 years. They have restrictions on the adoptive families. Minimum years of marriage is 3, maximum number of children in the home is 4, and the youngest child in the home must be 2. You cannot specify gender. Oh, and you have to live in one of the following: CA, KS, MO, NE, SD, NJ, OR, or TX. If not, tough luck. Why Korea does not adopt to people in other states is beyond me.
Thailand:
Is much like Korea except with the nonsense state requirements. They have similar rules about marriage (3 years) and state the youngest child in home currently must be 2. However, you cannot have more than 2 children in the home when you apply for adoption. Children here are also well cared for and are placed in foster care at birth. The wait is long and is currently running 3-5 years. I am unsure about gender selection. Children are also young (6-9 mo).
So, given the fact that Tim and I definitely wanted an infant (I was wanting a child around 6 months, but it became clear to me this would not be possible) and that we wanted to get this done ASAP our options suddenly became Russia and Ethiopia. In fact, when I began searching for adoption agencies that were specifically in Ohio, it seemed these were the only two countries doing infant adoptions with these agencies. We are still lamenting the stupid state restrictions with Korean adoptions because given the age and amazing health of those children, I would have gladly waited the two years. I guess we'll let them know when we move to Kansas. Yeah, right.
The decision between Russia and Ethiopia was not that difficult to make. While we could get a child a 1-3 months younger in Ethiopia, I have family heritage in Russia and have always considered Russia as one of the top places I'd want to adopt from. Also, the children are mostly Caucasian, and while we did not begin this process only wanting a child that looked like us, having the option seemed nice. I believe it will be one less thing that our child has to contend with as she tries to find her identity in our family.
In the next post I will talk about the adoption agency we are using, why we chose a girl, and what we are expecting the process to look like. But I think this is enough for now.
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